Clothes can’t talk can they? // A love that will never grow old and other impulse purchases

There’s this one person in my life (who shall remain unnamed for embarrassing reasons) and who, after gaining a few pounds thought it would be a good idea to let her jeans out a bit by using this youtube tutorial. The gist was to cut the sides of the belt part and insert these triangle-shaped bits of denim. However, the experiment went awry and needless to say, the jeans were left for dead. I learned two things from this: 1) Never make alterations on your clothes by yourself and 2) always try clothes on before buying them. This brings us to the issue of the black-red shirt of today’s post.

Postoji ta jedna osoba (koja će iz blamantnih razloga ostati neimenovana) koja je pri dobijanju par kilograma viška došla na ideju da sama proširi pojas na novim farkama korsiteći neku suludu metodu koju je pokupila sa nekog tutorijala na youtube-u. Poenta je da se raspori pojas i ubace mali trouglići. Zvuči dovoljno jednostavno, ali u rukama nekog ko ne zna ništa o popravkama i ne zna pošteno ni da ubaci konac u iglu, eksperiment je rezultirao uništenim farmerkama koje su završile pored kontejnera. Iz ove situacije naučila sam dve stvari: Prva je, nikad sam ne obavljaj prepravke na odeći, a druga, nikad ne kupuj stvari koje nisi probao. Ovo drugo odnosi se na crveno-crnu košulju iz ovog posta.

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It was one of those Novi Sad Saturdays in that part of the month when you’re a little short on cash, and ironically, this is the time when the urge to shop is at its strongest. This in turn results in making a cheap purchase at Terranova, because why not? It’s there, it’s cheap and you’re in that stage where you’re really into the whole lumberjack look. I took a look at it, picked the one that was my size and headed for the check-out counter (without trying it on beforehand because Saturday afternoon lines at the changing rooms are basically hell). Well, the real hell was back at home, because when I tried it, I unpleasantly discovered that not only is it too wide but the sleeves are freakishly long as well. And then it dawned on me: this shirt isn’t made to be warn, but was rather designed to serve the ridiculous trend of tying your shirt around the waist over some really short shorts. Luckily, I think that after this year’s line of music festivals, where virtually thousands of girls showed up wearing them exactly like that the whole thing just imploded and died. At least that’s what I hope happened. Anyway, as someone who does not back away from a challenge, I made it my mission to find a decent combination and pull off this shirt even if it killed me. There were a few fails, like when I tried to wear it over jeans and ended up looking like someone from a rap video circa 1992, but I knew there was still hope.  

Bila je to jedna od onih novosadskih subota u onom delu meseca kada se ne osećaš baš najbogatije, a naravno najveći poriv da nešto kupiš javlja se upravo tad. To je upravo ono što te dovede do situacije da kupiš jeftinu košulju u Terranovi. Tu je, jeftina je, a i u tom trenutku se baš pržiš na taj ženski drvoseča look. Pogledaš je, kontaš ok, ovo je moja veličina, odeš na kasu jer te mrzi da čekaš (subotnji redovi pred kabinama su živi pakao). To je bila greška. Pakao me je čekao tek posle. Ispostavilo se da je košulja vrlo široka (nula strukiranosti) i rukavi su predugi. I tad sam shvatila. Ova košulja nije napravljena da bi bila nošena, već je stvorena u svrhu onog bizarnog trenda vezivanja oko struka preko minijaturnog šortsa. Srećom, mislim da je konačno na ovogodišnjem Egzitu, kada su se hiljade devojaka sa istovetnom košuljom oko struka ugladele, ovaj trend usled prevelike količine istog na tako malom prostoru uspeo da implodira i samouništi se. Bar se tome nadam. U svakom slučaju, ja sam bila rešena da košulju nosim, makar me ubilo. Naravno bilo je tu momenata kad sam je nosila preko farmerica  verovatno izgledala kao reper sa kraja osamdesetih godina, al’ pošto ne odustajem od izazova, bila sam rešena da joj nađem pristojnu kombinaciju.

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This new hope was found in a wide, high-waisted A line midi skirt, the only cut that is eligible for shirts this wide to be tucked in in. Unlike the shirt, this skirt, for me, was one of those items you see and then obsess about for days, all your thoughts aimed at finding a way to get your hands on it. Luckily, I have great friends who, instead of guessing what to get me for my birthday, simply ask me, and abracadabra – I got my perfect camel skirt, with a cut designed to show the world only that which is good and pure and hide the evil parts of the body.

Spas je pronađen u širokoj suknji sa visokim strukom, jedinom kroju koji može da podnese upasavanje košulje ove širine. Za razliku od košulje, ova suknja je za mene jedna od onih stvari koje ugledaš i onda opsesivno razmišljaš o njoj sve dok ne nađeš način da je se dokopaš. Na sreću ja imam super prijatelje koji umesto da lutaju i pitaju se da li će mi kupiti pravi rođendanski poklon, lepo te pitaju šta želiš i tako sam uspela da dobijem suknju koju ću voleti i zato što je a) savršene camel boje, visokog struka i širine, koja pokazuje svetu sve što je dobro a sakriva sve viškove i zla ljudskog tela.

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The hat is yet another story. So, we’re walking around Zara and I turn to my best friend and say: “You wanna see something hilarious?” You see, I have never been able to find a hat that would fit this head of mine, so I figured this would be a great opportunity for us to look in the mirror and die laughing at the sight of a hat on my head. Well, the joke was on me, because, shocker – the hat fits perfectly. I thought to myself, well this is fate, now I have to buy it because this is bound to never happen again.

Šešir je tek posebna priča. Išli smo tako Zarom i ja sam svom najboljem drugu rekla: “Dođi da vidiš nešto urnebesno”. Ja nikad nisam našla šešir koji mi stoji i kontala sam da će ovo biti situacija u kojoj možemo da gledamo i pokidamo se od smeha prizoru šešira na mojoj nesrećnoj glavi. Fora mi je potpuno propala jer – vidi ti to, ovaj šešir može da stane na moju glavu. Ovo je bila sudbina, ja ovo moram da kupim jer se vise nikad u životu neće desiti.

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Generally, I’m not the type of person who plans her outfits in advance. Usually I just grab a couple of pieces as the mood strikes me, combine and hope for the best. Today was not one of those days. I was purposefully going for the “What would Jake Gyllenhaal wear in Brokeback Mountain if he were a woman” type of look. I think I nailed it. Yes, this was a walk in the park, but I figure that it would work equally well if I were a prairie woman getting ready to take on a job on a mountain. (The female version of Heath Ledger *RIP* would, I presume, go for some type of denim combo).

Ja nisam neko ko pri nameri da izađe iz kuće previse razmišlja o spoju stvari. Instinktivno izvučem nekoliko komada iz ormara, kombinujem i nadam se najboljem. Ovo nije bio jedan od tih dana. Danas sam se namerno vodila idejom: Šta bi obukao ženski Džejk Džilanhol za scenu u Brokeback Mountain filmu. Čini mi se da je uspelo. Ovo jeste bila šetnja po parku ali kontam da bih se jako dobro uklopila kao žena sa prerije koja se sprema za sezonski posao na planini. (Ženska verzija Hita Ledžera (RIP) bi se verovatno odlučila za neku teksas kombinaciju).

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When you put together an outfit that is, in color and pattern, a tad loud, it is my opinion that the rest of it should be a bit more low-key. That is where simple black ankle boots and a black shopper bag come to play. The boots, I must admit are not exactly mountain friendly, and the bag would be redundant, but hey, I’m not really in a movie. The trick is to make it border-line costume, but not actually cross the line.

Kada na sebe staviš par komada odeće koji su dezenom/bojom malo, da kažem, glasni, pametno je da ostatak kombinacije bude nešto svedeniji. Tu su nastupili obična crna torba i crne čizme do članaka. Čizme, moram da priznam nisu baš pogodne za planinu, a verovatno ne bih nosila ni tašnu, al ipak nismo stvarno u filmu. Treba doći do granice kostima, al ne treba je baš i preći.

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The moral of this outfit story is: Try things on before buying them, but if you do buy them, don’t give up on them easily, there is a script meant for them to act out. And of course, if you don’t have the perfect body and are cursed with wide-hips (guilty) stay away from pencil skirts and turn to those flattering A lines. Turn your belt-buckle, ‘cause symmetry can be really dull, and have fun with your outfit. Still, be careful with role-playing, you know, I love Donnie Darko but I know better than to dress up in a giant bunny costume.

Naravoučenije jeste: Probajte stvari pre nego što ih kupite, a ako ih već kupite, ne odustajte od njih lako, naći će se pogodan scenario za njihovu svrhu. I naravno, ako nemate savršeno telo i prokleti ste širokim  kukovima (guilty!) klonite se pencil suknji i obratite pažnju na laskave A krojeve. Kaiš okrenite malo u stranu, jer simetrija je nekad jako dosadna stvar, i ne zaboravite da se igrate. Ipak, budite opezni. Ja volim i film Donnie Darko ali se nikad neću obući u kostim ogromnog zeca.

Košulja: Terranova

Suknja: H&M

Šešir: Zara

Torba: H&M

Čizme: Metro

Rukavice: Mamin ormar

Kaput: Neka super domaća proizvodnja u butiku u staroj lučnoj zgradi

 

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2 thoughts on “Clothes can’t talk can they? // A love that will never grow old and other impulse purchases

  1. Ne pratim blogove ali čim sam videla metalik plisiranu suknju u prethodnom postu znala sam da mi je suđeno da se uvrstim u tvoje verne pratioce *.*

    Pregotivan stil, ovakvu suknju jurim GODINAMA, jedva čekam sledeći post >O<

    Like

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